For,

I was finally able to finish 下一站，幸福 yesterday. The ending wasn't disappointing but I kinda expected something a little more. Confessing and being able to fix everything just like that. Not to mention it was only 30mins long, like wtf. I feel like there should have been more of an arguement in it. Not so.. accepting. Then again dramas aren't usually like real life, however it is valuable on how you should try to make life be smoother and happier. I learned a lot from this drama, especially near the end. Only time could tell though if I actually fall through.

People are changing. I've noticed it around me. Well, at least recently. My mom came to visit me along with my sister and dad. And, she learned to cool her temper. I was very surprised. I was able to tell when she was starting to get upset but she kept quiet instead of saying something that would make us all feel uncomfortable to be around her and sad/mad. Then she cheered up later on. Maybe one day isn't enough to tell if there really is a change but, I think I've lost enough confidence in her already that it's about time I decided to look ahead again and recognize her attempts now. I know she's really trying now, and the fact that she's bee losing weight could be helping her too. She'll have more confidence in herself that way too and I think I need to start paying attention to her more again. I can't let her efforts go unnoticed.

But it's all to do with trying. I think I learned a life lesson from her and a love lesson from the drama. You have to try and not give up on yourself or others. It's not okay to just drop a thought, an ambition, a dream, a hope, if it's for the good that is.

I may be stupid, but I have determination and persistence in the things I care about. If I didn't have other classes to worry about I'd be dedicated to my language studies. I would know better Korean than what I do now. And I'd be mastering in Japanese (lol exaggeration but). And even my side languages, I'd be able to focus more time for them too. I can give up easily, but it depends on what it is I'm giving up on. If it has significant value to me, I won't let it go. At least until I know I've tried all I could.


Those days when it seems pointless and that all your efforts aren't having an effect, it just takes time. I've waited about 6 months on vitamin A and I'm finally getting an effect. I've waited years for my mom to change and I'm seeing an change, I've waited three years in elementary to be accepted by others, I've been waiting five years to finally feel something real, the past only relying on fantasy and fiction I've written on paper to keep me in peace. I've waited eight years to finally understand this life. Maybe, I can wait a little longer for some new change. Maybe if I give myself time, if you're willing to wait, I have confidence, I can change.



This is for,the new emotions, the new determination, the reasons that keep us going.