It's a theory of relativity. You wouldn't understand ;)

I remember when I was a kid I was told that once you cut your leg shaving it would never stop bleeding. I always wondered then why in the world women would want to shave their legs. You can guess what happened to me. It surprises me every time how long it takes for it to actually stop bleeding. My towel is a bloody mess now.

Yesterday I had to make a difficult decision. Quit or stay. Sushi Tei that is. I think I had my mind set on what I wanted from the beginning but I had a difficult time accepting that it was what I wanted. It bothered me so much I couldn't even sleep that night after my decision was made. I only accomplished two hours of sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about regrets, trying to persuade myself that it was the right decision. No one was making me feel better about it. Just felt worse and worse. Not to mention I had to wake up at 6:30 and get ready for work this morning. I was tired, of course. But wait, a morning shift? Yeah, in the end I quit Sushi Tei. Today I started my job in the mall in the Pet Store.

I called Jackie, my boss, and told her about it last night. She wasn't too happy to hear it and tried to convince me to stay. She said I was on my way for another raise, things should be easier for me now that I've been there a long time (aka I'm no longer training, which is the hardest part), that I wasted time and money that's why they train (something along those lines), how they would keep my position opened for so long if I wanted to come back, and stuff. I like Sushi Tei. The people are very nice to me, I get a free meal, and the pay is VERY good and there's tips included. But I just never enjoyed bringing myself to work and just couldn't wait until the day was done. I felt awkward around the people around me sometimes and I was VERY nervous around my two bosses. I liked talking to the customers; I'm a friendly person. But I'm just not a waitress. I mean, after this I have enough confidence to get another waitress job. I know I can handle it, but at this place... I had my happy days and my ehh days. I feel terrible about doing this to them and yesterday I felt even worst. I just don't really enjoy the whole waitress thing I think.

I need more flexible hours. There's a class I wanted to take but due to me working Tuesday nights I couldn't do it. Now that I have quit I possibly have the option to take it now. Not only that but I'm tired of doing nights, especially on the weekend. I wake up, too lazy to do anything before work, go to work, come home wanting to sleep. I accomplish nothing. And it's that way Saturday AND Sunday. I would at least like one weekend night free to do school work or something. I rather work mornings to begin with so my day isn't wasted being lazy. Another thing is my pay. I've been telling people I was getting $8.10 an hour. To be honest I have no idea if that's even true. I mean now that I think about it, how could I go from $7.25 to $8.10 within four months? Doesn't really sound right but maybe I did. Point is, I don't know. I don't know my tips either. And the most important thing is: MY PAY STUB. No pay stub is included with my check. I know I filled out tax return papers but that's all I did. I didn't give them my id, or a copy of my social security card. They never asked for a copy of either. So I'm not even positive I'm getting my taxes taken which is HIGHLY IMPORTANT if I want New York residency. I could have asked, but... I told them twice already when I started that I needed my taxes taken even though everyone else is under-the-table. I'll see at the end of the month if I get my tax return sent to me I guess.

The Pet Store. I woke up today, got to the mall around 9:30am and the first thing I did was clean shit and piss from the dogs' cages. That was my morning. Sound terrible enough? To be honest, I had so much fun. Not cleaning shit lol, that didn't bother me at all. But the time went fast for 5-6 hours. And honestly, I wouldn't have mind staying longer. I loved taking the dogs out of the cages and giving them to people, and even just holding the dogs for the hell of it. I already sold $72 worth of merchandise; I knew how to use the computer right away after Chris showed me once. I cleaned up after them, answered questions when I was able to, put mice and dwarf hamsters in a new cage, etc. I loved it. And just that alone has made me feel like I could work there every freggin' day. I loved it so much. We currently have this Saint Bernard and when you take him out of the cage you have to like throw him over your shoulder he's sooo big and fluffy and ♥♥♥♥♥♥!!! My love for just holding his huge body has made me decide to save $2,000 (that's how much he is there) just to buy one in the future. He's only two months old by the way which means he has much much more to grow yet :) But he should be sold soon, sadly :(

The Pet Store has more flexible hours. One very important thing to me is that my Sunday nights are guaranteed to be open since the mall closes at 6. And I don't have to walk a distance to get to the bus anymore lol. I can do mornings when I can and on the weekends there is even a middle shift (12-6), so I can even have a choice for that. Also if I needed to I can get someone to cover my shift more easily and switch hours for a week if needed. I'm a lot more flexible which makes me feel... less caged, if that makes any sense. Sure the pay is less, only $7.25, and I will never get a raise but I do get commission if I'm lucky enough to sell $1,000 every week. Trust me, if you sell a dog that's not so hard to accomplish since most dogs are about $1,000. Less stress here too. Like, at Sushi Tei I was always on my toes to try to move faster, try not to mess up the order, try to remember the menu and what comes with what, worrying about packing the takeout correctly, trying to move fast on the computer to punch up the orders (for some reason I always had trouble locating some meals), trying to look busy, pleasing picky customers, feeling too scared to talk in Japanese to the boss, feeling like shit when I screw something up, etc. It's a stressful thing. That's why it was always either a good or ehh kind of day. Here it's just, well, simple. I'm not saying I want to take the easy way out but, I don't want more stress to top me while taking classes. This year has been such a hell ride, I would at the very least like to enjoy work.

So, after today I've concluded I've made the best decision. Less pay means I just need to be more careful on my spending now. But I still have a job, I still have money coming in, and I feel a hell of a lot more better being employed. Tomorrow is my last day at Sushi Tei. Next day at the Pet Store is Tuesday.

I did unfortunately spend a little over $100 these past two days though. I bought myself an external hard drive (blue!) for around $80 because I am downloading too much music and taking space and I want to put my pictures/video from Japan in a safe place in case this computer explodes (lol it better not). Then $15 on a set of two silicon itouch cases, lime green and sky blue. I was surprised I even found them at Best Buy, they don't make cases for my generation itouch anymore... My hard case has cracked beyond belief and I've dropped the damn thing too many times to count. The silicon will protect it from shock which I NEED. I can't have a broken itouch :'( It is my life.

New 相対性理論 (soutaiseiriron) album released last year... ON MY BIRTHDAY??? Yeah, I had no idea. Found it and now I'm totally addicted. I love them. So so much. Life seems more complete again lol. For the many people who don't know this group, they're of course indie but if you read their lyrics, even in translation, their songs are so messed up lol. They really just sing about the most random things. Sometimes it doesn't even make much sense for your brain. They'll say something and you'll just be like, "whaaat the hell is that supposed to mean...?" Fun :)

Then there is Starbucks' Iced Chai Latte♥ My new favorite of Starbucks. Best free $3-something of my life today. I traveled with Kevin around the mall and he had a friend working in Starbucks and she gave us free vente drinks. I said that one just off the top of my head but it was the best sudden decision I made. The taste is exquisite.  

I smell like dog and dog shit now and probably will for the rest of my Pet Shop career. I walked around the mall like that afterwords and I smelled it radiating off my hands whenever I paid for something lol. Worth it? I think so :)